A Marriage Guide for Sustaining Love and Connection
We all remember how it was in the beginning.
You meet that girl. You fall in love. You present your best self and try to say all the right things. And whatcha know, it works! That lady is now your wife. Job done right?
Well actually this is far from a done deal.
Marriage merely represents the next stage of the relationship, wherein we need to shift the focus of attention to a whole new way of approaching the relationship.
As time passes life's complexities can dim the glow of passion. Complacency and monotony can set in. And this my friend is DEATH to a marriage.
Never fear though. This guide is here to issue you with a few deliberate, intentional steps that you can use to not only keep the embers aglow, but to kindle a fire that burns brighter with time.
The Ever-Evolving Dance of Love
Renowned relationship expert, Dr. Sarah Mitchell, poignantly states, "Romance in marriage is not a fleeting sentiment but a dance that evolves, requiring intentional steps to keep the rhythm alive."
The Foundation – Cultivating Healthy Communication
Total and absolute communication is the bedrock upon which a thriving relationship is built right? Well, yes and no.
It's important that you have regular in depth and meaningful discussions with your wife. Knowing that you are both working towards the common goal of a well ordered, functioning and happy relationship is a must for both husband and wife. This means regularly touching base, working out issues and exploring each others minds through conversation. Set time aside to do this. It's very important that you both know where you stand, and can talk through what needs to be done to keep the household stable and healthy.
However, emoting to her with every issue you have is a definite no.
You are her husband. You are her rock. She wants to know that you are in control and can handle things. So keep those deeper problems in a place where you can either work on them yourself, or discuss them with trusted friends. Keep a calm and well ordered household together, and remember that you are the captain of the ship.
Quality Time – A Priceless Investment
Life can be incredibly busy. The investment of time becomes a priceless currency in marriage. You need to make time for each other.
Whether this is a regular date night, an evening walk, or weekend get aways together finding time to be alone with your wife is incredibly important.
In order to stay in touch with those feelings you both experienced at the beginning of the relationship you need to replicate those early care free days.
Work towards a plan that means you can both spend a large chunk of time together. It will keep your relationship fresh and invigorating.
The Art of Surprise and Spontaneity
As I've mentioned predictability spells death for a marriage.
Surprise is the spark that ignites the flame of romance. Think back to the things that you used to do for her when you first met. Little gestures like leaving notes for her, surprise dates, these are the things that will keep you interesting in her eyes.
Don't slip into just existing in each others company. Give her a squeeze when you pass in the hall or a kiss at an unexpected moment. It will let her know that you are still there and see her as more than a wife or mother. Those small actions are often the foundations that keep a marriage on firm ground and shouldn't be overlooked.
Shared Adventures and Hobbies
There are times when as men we want to either be alone, or with other guys. However having a shared interest with your wife can be a great way to bond and keep a marriage healthy.
Having a shared activity that you can discuss and work at progressing is not only a great way to spend time together, but also a great way develop a shared common perspective on a singular thing. Walking, Jiu Jitsu, camping, any activity that can be shared is a good thing for your relationship and will keep you on a healthy path together.
Embracing Physical Affection
As I've said, gestures of touch are incredibly important.
But as man and wife this goes beyond holding hands.
Sex is the glue that holds a marriage together. If you aren't having good regular sex you are just glorified housemates.
This is a tricky one (and I'll be writing a whole other blog on this), but maintaining sexual attraction is an ongoing exercise that goes well beyond the bedroom.
This may rum some of you the wrong way, but bottom line is that if you have a healthy relationship you will be having great sex on a regular basis. It really is the canary in the coal mine. No sex = no marriage. You need to keep the spark of romance alive, while also letting your wife know that you are in control in a way that means she is safe and protected.
Conclusion!
So, my friend, as we wrap up our guide to keeping the flame alive in your marriage, let's put it this way – marriage isn't the final destination; it's the scenic route you take together. But you need to work on it.
Think of it like a road trip where you roll down the windows, enjoy the journey, and maybe even stop for some roadside attractions.
Life's a bit of a rollercoaster. But it's those small, consistent acts of love and attention on your part that become the glue holding everything together.
So, in conclusion, keeping the romance alive is like tending to a garden. By making time for heart-to-heart talks, creating moments of togetherness, throwing in a surprise or two, sharing adventures, and embracing the warmth of physical affection, you're not just maintaining your love story; you're turning it into a masterpiece.
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